What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
Posted by speckx 3 days ago
Comments
Comment by mox-1 1 day ago
Eventually a guy comes along and picks us up. Tells us he hitched all the way across Europe back in the day so he empathized with us. Says he's on the way to pick up his son (our age) from work, a department store that happened to be on the way to the station.
His son gets into the car, understandably pretty bemused as to why his dad has brought two random stragglers with him!
We get to the station only to find that it's closed, because, yes, it's Boxing Day and trains weren't running either (we hadn't really thought this through). Guy says:
"Don't worry lads, all the family are around ours for Christmas dinner. My brother lives in West London so he can give you a ride there at the end of the night."
So we found ourselves, two foreign students, invited to a complete stranger's Christmas dinner party. We all had so much fun and drank so much that we completely abandoned the London idea and went back to my Grandma's at the end of the night.
And the kid who was our age that got picked up from work? He ended up being my Best Man when I got married 15 years later. True story!
Comment by btilly 1 day ago
This was in the 1980s. (Before cellphones.) The guy who was supposed to pick him up didn't show up because his motorcycle broke down. And couldn't get it fixed because it was Chinese New Year.
My brother arrived, not speaking any Chinese, surrounded by people who didn't speak any English. Who were having the biggest party that my brother had ever seen, and kept giving him food and inviting him places! He had absolutely NO idea what was going on!
After a few days of this, the person who was supposed to meet him finally managed to arrive, and my brother was hooked. Spent most of the next two decades in Taiwan.
Comment by comprev 1 day ago
As a Brit, I feel Xmas meal is the one time when you might see new faces around the table as we make an effort to ensure nobody is eating alone.
Growing up it was not unusual for members of the local community to join us if they faced Xmas alone.
Comment by HexPhantom 1 day ago
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Comment by peterburkimsher 1 day ago
After CouchSurfing started charging a monthly fee, I’ve defected to BeWelcome.org which is a European, open-source alternative to CS.
Comment by jacquesm 1 day ago
Comment by tjwebbnorfolk 1 day ago
I was driving from South Carolina to Virginia, I was completely broke, and had exactly $20 in cash, and only a couple dollars in my checking account. I did my math wrong, and didn't have enough money for enough gas to make it home. I was trying to draft behind semi trucks and drive slow to conserve fuel, but it wasn't enough.
I called my bank at the gas station with my needle on empty and asked what would happen if I overdrew my account by $50, and the guy on the phone asked me to explain the situation. Afterwards he said I was good to go.
I asked, what does that mean? He said there's now $50 in your account. You can use it to fill up your car on your debit card.
I filled up my car and made it home. When I checked my account later, expecting to see an overdraft fee, there was a deposit of $50 from some account I didn't recognize. The guy had just transferred me $50 from his own account. I never figured out who this was, so ~18 years later, I'll take this opportunity to say: thank you sir.
I don't know that this is THE nicest thing anyone has ever done, but it was a small thing that made a huge difference in that moment.
Comment by bigstrat2003 1 day ago
Looking back, it probably wasn't that big a deal for the guy. He only had to drive me a handful of blocks, so it's not like it was way out of his way or cost him more than a couple dollars in gas. But at the time, it felt like he saved my life. I was able to get my car back and get to work that night, and all was well. It's amazing how big of a difference a small kindness can make.
Comment by SoftTalker 1 day ago
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Comment by SoftTalker 23 hours ago
Comment by bgbntty2 1 day ago
I didn't have any prior relationship with him, except going to him to give him my ID so I can get the money a few times.
Comment by sejje 20 hours ago
It didn't go as well as I thought it would--her mom was embarrassed and then out-did me--but it still felt really good to give them.
So for anyone reading, it can feel as good to give a kindness as to receive one. Don't shy!
Comment by bgbntty2 13 hours ago
True - I love giving gifts and helping people more than receiving them or getting help. But it's still awkward/uncomfortable to receive help.
> her mom was embarrassed and then out-did me
Out-did you how? Did she buy better shoes for the kid? Or did she give you a gift?
Comment by sejje 6 hours ago
I had picked for her, and I'm not a girl. I think the new ones had lights.
I will say the kid cried happy tears and thanked me and beamed all day long the first day. She was 8.
Comment by DANmode 10 hours ago
Comment by HexPhantom 1 day ago
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Comment by tjwebbnorfolk 1 day ago
Even a thread about kindness can't stop the haters :)
Comment by CamperBob2 1 day ago
Comment by defrost 1 day ago
The admins potter about classifying coarse behaviour and looking to reject spam, voting blocs, overly weird AI comments, etc. The creators make their bot accounts less obvious with random votes, etc.
Comment by fsckboy 1 day ago
Comment by defrost 1 day ago
HN prefers "legit accounts" (subjective) - good faith comments from real people, reasonable uses of alias and spun up fresh accounts for regulars to say things without being part of their main history, etc. New commenters welcome.
There are obvious and less obvious dark patterns of bad faith account creation.
The admins do a pretty decent job, sweeping cobwebs without hitting real genuine people is an artform ...
Returning to the main GP point - there's a lot of low key background churn activity that can result in "inexplicatable" votes, some from bots and some from the general case of "people are strange".
Comment by fsckboy 1 day ago
on HN? huh, i've never seen that (and i'm no spring chicken)
Comment by swores 21 hours ago
Comment by sejje 20 hours ago
A lot of them I only see because I have "showdead" turned on.
Comment by sokoloff 1 day ago
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Comment by lubujackson 1 day ago
He shook his head and said, "No, that won't do. You're on his team, too" and handed me a jersey. Then he went ahead and paid my registration fee.
More than the money, it was the proactive nature of it that struck me at the time. The thing is, if I had asked my parents they probably would have signed me up. But it was one of those things where it would have never crossed my mind to ask. I ws as one of those kids that needed a push every now and then and rarely got one.
I never got very good at basketball but I never missed a game and had a great time with my friend. So not a tragic or desperate story, but still meaningful to me all these years later.
Comment by mertd 1 day ago
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Comment by red369 1 day ago
I think a lot of the other unasked for examples given could also cause resentment. Perhaps often the right thing to do is just taking the risk.
Comment by xboxnolifes 1 day ago
Comment by alsetmusic 1 day ago
After reaching an age where bi-polar disorder goes full swing, I was unable to manage manic episodes; they'd spring up and I'd be awake for days and then crash horribly. I lost all hope that I'd be able to hold down a typical job ever again. I became a 24h/7d alcoholic with the goal of never being conscious and trying to sleep through life until it ended.
I was at the local shop where I bought my booze buying a bunch of beer and vodka around 7-8am. A guy near me at the counter made a comment about what a great party must be coming. I looked at him, probably dead-eyed, and said, "I'm an alcoholic."
He put his hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything. It was just a moment of compassion. It was deeply kind. What was communicated was simply that someone cared and, to this day, I wish I had a way to thank him for that profound gesture.
Comment by donatj 1 day ago
A couple years ago we had a particularly bad snowfall. The plow has a nasty hate filled habit of dumping all its snow in my driveway. I had a drift at the end of my driveway about 4 feet high and 6 feet deep. Literally up to my chest. I had spent a solid hour just chipping away at it trying to get my car out and had made very little progress.
Right as I was about to give up in frustration, a man in a bobcat drove by. Moments later he turned around, came back, and asked "would you like me to clear that for you?" I told him that would be amazing. Took him a couple minutes and then he waved and drove off before I got a chance to offer him any money or even thank him.
I think about this guy pretty often, it's absolutely the random act of kindness in my life I have appreciated most.
A recent lesser snowfall for context:
Comment by Neywiny 1 day ago
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Comment by thunderfork 1 day ago
You don't have to be unfit to get done in by shoveling snow.
Comment by hermitcrab 1 day ago
Comment by stevenjgarner 1 day ago
1) Extreme physical exertion - sudden, intense arm-heavy exercise often as a Valsalva maneuver (straining and holding the breath). This dramatically increases blood pressure, which puts acute stress on the heart and arteries.
2) Exposure to cold air exacerbating the strain on the heart with vasoconstriction (blood vessel constriction). Cold temperatures cause peripheral blood vessels (arteries and veins) to narrow. This forces the heart to work harder to pump blood through the constricted vessels to keep the body warm, leading to an increase in blood pressure. The combination of constricted vessels and high physical exertion means the heart needs significantly more oxygen to function, but the cold and high pressure can limit the blood and oxygen flow (myocardial oxygen demand is increased). Breathing cold air can also trigger constriction in the coronary arteries that supply the heart muscle itself, further increasing the risk of reduced blood flow and a heart attack.
Comment by darreninthenet 1 day ago
Comment by bigstrat2003 1 day ago
It's not like shoveling snow is super dangerous. Most people don't die from shoveling the snow. But it can happen and it's worth slowing down and taking breaks.
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Comment by phil21 1 day ago
Deep, heavy, wet snow is called heart attack snow for a reason. It sneaks up on you - a driveway you just cleared for years with normal snowfalls is all of a sudden a 10x workout from usual, and your brain doesn’t completely process this. Anything else at that level of intensity would likely trigger you to take breaks.
That said - I think inactivity is far worse. But I still make a point to go shovel my elderly neighbors walks here in Chicago before they have a chance to do it when we get particularly deep snowfalls.
Comment by unyttigfjelltol 1 day ago
[1] https://shine365.marshfieldclinic.org/heart-care/prevent-hyp...
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Comment by fsckboy 1 day ago
after a nar nar day in pow pow cuttin freshies up to your nippy nips, you'll change that assessment!
(my email address was once inadvertently put on a mailing list for the planning of a bachelor party ski weekend, people I did not know or have any connection to, and that's the way they talked. i enjoyed it so much i didn't confess till they demanded to know why i hadn't RSVPed yet)
Comment by dtgriscom 1 day ago
Translation, please?
Comment by fsckboy 23 hours ago
pow pow = is powder, powdery snow
cuttin = skiing (i.e. leaving a trail behind you after cutting through the snow)
freshies = means fresh, new; not clear in this context, it could refer to "fresh snow" or "fresh tracks"
nippy nips = depth of snow is up to your nips (nipples) and you are cold/excited/goosebumps so your nips are nippy
this is generalized "california surfer talk"; the type of western man who surfs also snowboards, dirt bikes, jet skis, etc as well as clings to a teenaged hangout burnout lifestyle
Comment by rogerrogerr 1 day ago
An 863 with hi-flow 2 speed and a pivoting plow was the most ideal snowplow I've ever played with.
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Comment by phil21 1 day ago
The entire block on both sides plus the alley gets done those days. Neighbors here at first were skeptical since I guess it’s not normal (it is in Minnesota - every block there has a hero) for the big city, but now I get treats from various houses that catch me doing it.
I honestly do it for the pure joy of using awesome equipment I could otherwise nowhere remotely justify purchasing. Plus knowing I’m helping out my community in a small way is a nice bonus. Also helps me meet people and be social as an introvert.
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Comment by brewtide 1 day ago
Tis the cycle of snow blower ownership.
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Comment by Sawpaw19 1 day ago
We painted BOS > SF on the back window. At a gas station in Memphis a random guy walked up to us and said "Make sure you go to Graceland. Can't miss it."
We sort of smile and nod politely and then walk into the gas station to use the bathroom, reload on snacks etc.
10 mins later we come back outside and the same guy comes over "I bought you all tickets to Graceland, who can I text them to?"
Truly such a sick moment. Graceland was a highlight of the trip and to have someone just do such a random kind thing made it that much better. Long live Elvis, long live the King. Thanks again to whoever you are that did that. Respect.
Comment by delichon 1 day ago
Comment by bitwize 1 day ago
Followed him up to the gates of Graceland, and I watched him pass right through.
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Comment by phil21 1 day ago
My car broke down at a rest stop due to overheating and would not start again. I called a local shop on a Sunday afternoon and some guy in a tow truck pulled up and brought me to his place.
He knew immediately it was some fuel control module that dies when overheated, and just so happened to have a car he was working on to resale with the same one. I truthfully told him I probably couldn’t afford to pay him for it until I got my first paycheck and he asked how much I had. Told him about $120 to my name and he just charged me $100 and said I was good to go.
I (barely) made it to my new spot at 4am or so going 35mph to keep from overheating again. Flashers on the whole way there. Used my change jar to pay for my final tank of gas.
I didn’t fully realize how much that repair should have cost - plus the tow - plus the same day off hours service.
I think about that guy a lot and it’s informed my charitable giving ever since. I like to think I’m still paying it forward to this day when situations arise for me to help out someone in need who isn’t asking for a favor first.
Given the response I got from family when I called them to ask for a $100 loan to pay for gas on that trip informed my relationships with them for life. A stranger went out of his way more than supposedly close family did during my most dire (at the time) emergency I had ever experienced.
Comment by CommenterPerson 3 days ago
When we got back home after the long trip, we sent him a nice sweatshirt with "New Jersey" on it.
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Comment by lostlogin 1 day ago
You’ll be a super hero.
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Comment by schoen 1 day ago
I agree that there's flexibility in the sizes. When I wanted to stock up my work's garage with spare bike tires, I got four kinds in total (basically a small Presta, a small Schrader, a large Presta, and a large Schrader). This officially covered pretty much every common road and hybrid or mountain bike with something that was officially rated or matched to it. But yes, as far as I know, one could probably get by in practice with fewer than that and use things that are officially slightly mismatched.
Specifically, I got the Specialized "Standard Schrader" 700x20-28c and 700x28-38c, and "Standard Presta" 700x20-28c and 700x28-38c tubes (the smaller ones more likely for road bikes, the larger ones more likely for mountain bikes). These are about $8 each in the U.S., so a total of about $32 for the set of four. 700c is increasingly common, although there are several other diameters that have been or are being used.
Just having a bike pump can be pretty helpful in many circumstances!
Comment by Cockbrand 1 day ago
So there's not necessarily a need to carry tubes with both valve types.
Comment by schoen 20 hours ago
Comment by ErroneousBosh 1 day ago
I usually have stick-on patches and a bike pump as well as the normal Landrover-fixing tools, because you can have a toolbox without having an old Landrover but you can't have an old Landrover without having a toolbox.
Comment by HexPhantom 1 day ago
Comment by lostlogin 1 day ago
A $5 tube is so small a cost. Not having one can make a minor inconvenience into an utter shambles if you have to call home go a lift from 50km away at 6am.
Comment by phyzome 1 day ago
I've handed out paper towels to 4-5 people this year and they were all delighted.
Comment by lostlogin 1 day ago
Less practical: the group I ride with did a 200km ride, with one member having a nice shiny case attached to his bike where the pump might go.
When they finished he smoked his cigar.
Comment by mkl 1 day ago
Comment by lostlogin 1 day ago
It’s a hassle, but doing 2 at a time means the admin is much reduced.
There is a huge amount less dirt and grease in my life now. Even when I change it to re-wax it I don’t get dirty. I probably get 2-3 weeks, 500-600km out of each waxing.
Comment by phyzome 1 day ago
I already have some alcohol wipes in my bag as part of an emergency medical kit. I'll add a few more for grease emergencies. :-)
Comment by sejje 1 day ago
One of those happened in a heavy rainstorm. The ground was soft, and I don't know why exactly, but I couldn't get the jack to lift the jeep high enough to lift the tire.
I was on a country highway near my home, with no cell service and maybe one car every ten minutes. I tried a few spots, even just halfway in the lane--I was afraid, though, because the rain limited visibility for other drivers.
A man pulled up behind me in a Subaru. He wasn't local; he had come from Tennessee to paint a local scenic spot. He not only lent me his jack, but he got out in the pouring rain and helped until it was done. We both had raincoats, at least.
He said that just the day before, he had a flat of his own, and someone stopped and helped him solve some problem he couldn't get around, too.
I doubt that's the nicest thing a stranger ever did for me, but I sure appreciated it. Stopping and helping may be a small kindness, but it can feel like a miracle to the recipient.
Comment by echelon_musk 1 day ago
It helped that he was a real engineer and an excellent mechanic, but I think there was also a Christian duty in there as well for him.
Comment by sejje 20 hours ago
Comment by silisili 3 days ago
I think it's important to remember especially in traffic and such that cars aren't cars, they are people. I have no idea the real ratios, but imagine 20% are genuinely good people, 60% are just going about their lives, and 20% are miserable for some reason and drive like miserable people. It's easy to think everyone else is an idiot and become aggressive, but remember it's a small percentage who actually agitate you.
Now to answer the question. I guess it's when I was a kid, I'd completely torn my ACL but they wouldn't operate until I was done growing. I don't know how old, 12 maybe? I was in Washington DC running across a busy street when my knee slid out of place and I fell in the road. A Mercedes stopped, purposely blocking both lanes of traffic, and a husky middle aged black lady in scrubs got out and dragged me out of the road onto the sidewalk. She asked if I was ok, and I was as it happened here and there, and off she went. It was such a kind gesture in a city that seemed so cold and always on the go.
Comment by neilv 1 day ago
Lately, this is my experience in general, not only cars. Though I want to say both that 20% and 60% are genuinely good, and that first 20% are readily above-and-beyond.
In the big-name college town where I live, which still pretends to be warm-fuzzy (the remaining hippies are silver-haired), eventually you pick up on a pervasive undercurrent of selfishness.
A lot of people only get into the prestigious places because they look out for their own interests, and being here is only temporary and transactional.
And a lot of people are strained by the high cost of living for lousy conditions, and are just trying to get by.
Still, I've seen, for example, delirious (opioids?) street people slump off a bench on the gritty main drag, and quickly be surrounded concerned and helpful passersby who looked like yuppies. (And the only phones out were multiple people calling 911, no social media content creation, just genuinely helping and then disappearing.)
Comment by oaiey 1 day ago
Comment by neilv 1 day ago
Most people have to be a bit selfish, to acquire greater money/power/status than others. You usually don't come in first in the race, by pausing to help another runner who fell.
A lot of the people just trying to get by, on the other hand, have it harder because of the externalities of someone else's selfishness and sometimes cheating.
But, people just barely getting by can go one of two ways: they may or may not decide to help another person who falls.
Some just getting by will think we're all in this together, and we help each other, no matter what the jerks do. I think this is actually pretty popular philosophy, and is my own thinking.
But other just getting by might think they can't afford to help others, or that it's every person for themself. That philosophy happens, too, and is unfortunate, and it can be contagious. But much of the helping-others group is resilient.
Since you mentioned NYC: A very minor anecdote, but once, when I day-tripped to NYC for a startup interview, I just missed the last train home to Boston. I went to the booth where I saw an employee, and asked them what do I do. Her initial reaction was gruff indifferent dismissal, like is a stereotype of people in NYC. (A stereotype being something like, you can't care, because there is so much misery and crazy around you, and other people's problems are just too much to deal with besides your own.) But I think she picked up on my implicit Pollyanna belief that she would help me, because, an instant later, her whole tone changed, and she projected warmth and caring, and told me how to get home on a bus. (The startup was offering me the position, but I declined, because I decided NYC was too rough for me at the time, the nice lady in the train station notwithstanding.)
Comment by nntwozz 1 day ago
When I came home from school I would sometimes kick ball against the wall and I could spot old people looking at me from the windows, they would stare at me for a long time.
One summer an elderly woman came out on the balcony and invited me to come up for ice cream, my parents had warned me to beware of friendly strangers but my judgement at the time was that it was a neighbor so they must be friendly.
I entered and to my surprise the woman wasn't alone, she lived with her husband who was sitting in an armchair and they both looked to be in their 80s. They seemed very happy to have me, we sat down on the balcony and I remember feeling a bit awkward as these two strangers looked and smiled at me as I was eating the ice cream.
I don't think they ever had any children.
This memory sometimes resurfaces, and now at 41 I realize how sad and wonderful this was at the same time.
We moved away shortly after and I never saw them again.
Comment by OneMorePerson 1 day ago
I must have been too shy to think of climbing onto the person next to me. My best guess is that I was "jumping" up off the bottom to get brief bits of air while hoping it wasn't in the middle of a wave. After doing this for a bit, could be just seconds, I started to panic (I really couldn't tell you how long, felt like forever). I heard a whistle and somehow this lifeguard was there through the crowd within seconds (they had been standing along the wall of the pool but I was more in the middle).
The people all around me shoulder to shoulder hadn't even noticed what was going on, I still feel amazed the lifeguard could pick me out from thousands of heads and get to me.
(I don't know if this can be considered "nice" cause it was their job, but it's something that has always stuck with me).
Comment by irishcoffee 1 day ago
I wonder if any of those people remember that.
I also cannot sit by a body of water with people swimming without falling back into lifeguard mode. I’ve pulled out a few people as a civilian. Nothing serious, but it would have been. Little kids and beaches are a rough combo.
Comment by onraglanroad 1 day ago
See if you can spot the person in trouble before the lifeguard does in this video: https://youtu.be/4sFuULOY5ik
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Comment by apparent 1 day ago
As I was setting up the tripod on a bench, and man who was walking by offered to take a photo for us. I didn't want to explain what was going to happen, so I declined. But he insisted that he had the exact same camera, and would be happy to take some photos.
I lowered my voice so my girlfriend wouldn't hear, and said "Ok don't react at all, but I am about to propose to my girlfriend." He nodded in understanding and calmly took the camera. He took a few posed shots and then gave me the signal. I got down on a knee and proposed (completely forgetting what the speech I had prepared, of course), with him taking photos all the while. I'm certain that the photos he took (in manual mode!) turned out much better than what I would have captured at sunset/dusk, via remote.
A year or two later I mentioned to my then-wife that it would have been nice had we invited the man to our wedding. She laughed and said that she always assumed he was a photographer whom I had paid to be at the location at that time. It took quite some convincing before she understood that he was just a Nikon photog who was in the right place at the right time.
Comment by gastonmorixe 1 day ago
He was a complete stranger and incredibly kind, supportive, and helpful throughout the process. Still grateful for that. Small acts like that restore a bit of faith in humanity.
It also reminded me of a Steve Jobs quote:
“Most people never pick up the phone. Most people never ask. And that’s what separates, sometimes, the people who do things from the people who just dream about them. You have to act, and you have to be willing to fail. If you’re afraid of failing, you won’t get very far.” - SJ
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Comment by ElasticBottle 21 hours ago
Thank you!
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Comment by pengaru 1 day ago
Introspection is a powerful tool though, for me anyways.
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Comment by michaelbryzek 1 day ago
We had barely pulled our bikes onto the sidewalk when a woman in a sedan slowed down to ask if we needed help. We said yes and she quickly pulled over. We piled our bikes into her car, trunk open, and she drove us to the nearest bike shop.
Turns out her family member ran the shop.
Truly saved our day. We made it to Provincetown and 15 years later still remember her so fondly and are so thankful!
Comment by fsckboy 1 day ago
just throwing it out there, the fact has never left me, tho, it's never come in handy either.
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Comment by pettertb 3 days ago
This wonderful woman came over and asked if I wanted a hug. It warmed me to my bones. She said that "people should do that more", or something along those lines, and disappeared.
I don't remember her face, I just remember the warm feeling in my chest.
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Comment by irishcoffee 1 day ago
So, someone comes to pick it up. Well, 3 someone’s. A older woman, a younger woman, and a younger man. The man was missing a decent amount of teeth and had a decent amount of prison ink.
The car they came in to pick up this enormous full size fridge was probably only slightly bigger than the fridge. It wasn’t even close to being possible to fit.
I looked over at my 25 year old truck (I love that truck more than any other vehicle I’ve had) and made a decision.
“Hey look man, I love this truck. You can borrow it to lug the fridge. Please bring it back. I’ll even level with you, if you don’t bring it back odds are I’m not even going to report it stolen, I’m just going to be bummed. I get notes on my windshield all the time asking if I’ll sell it.”
Guy kind of looks at me. The other two people glance at each other, and the whole thing felt very strange. So we load the fridge and off they go.
I looked at my wife and said “I’m never going to see that truck again, huh?”
After about 4 hours I gave up. They stole it. I was strangely ok with it. I made the decision, knowing the risks, and had accepted them.
3 hours after that, they brought my truck back. The guy gets out and kind of started sobbing. The older woman (I assume the mom) was crying. Guy gave me a huge hug. Everyone was incredibly emotional.
I didn’t ask, but can only assume they considered stealing it. I also assume they used it all day long based on the mileage.
Comment by rogerrogerr 1 day ago
Actually, maybe someone here knows: How much would I expose myself lending my ~$20k car with full coverage to a random idiot? For the sake of argument, say I'm reasonably assured they are legal to drive.
Comment by apparent 1 day ago
If the driver has insurance, that would probably get tapped first, but if they don't have enough it could end up hitting your policy.
Comment by Rebelgecko 1 day ago
When I looked into it for my situation, a one-off thing was fine. You'd get into trouble if you lent your car for an extended period of time or if it was something like you didn't tell the insurance company you had a spouse and they drove the car regularly.
Comment by SoftTalker 1 day ago
Comment by kube-system 1 day ago
However, basically all insurance in the US extends coverage to people who the owner allows to drive the car.
But if you borrow someones car and you cause damages that go beyond their insurance limits, you can be personally sued for the remainder because you are still liable for your actions as a driver.
There are some exceptions where the owner can also be held liable for damages that someone else does, especially when they do it recklessly (e.g. lending to a drunk driver)
Comment by conorh 1 day ago
Comment by capncleaver 1 day ago
Earlier an older cousin had been out in the canoe and it looked easy enough. I put one foot in and realised my error immediately, toppling into the water. I remember clearly the water bubbles going by and thinking 'Oh dear, my mum is going to be so angry about this.' I came back up and saw a couple now running up along the path -- they had seen me go in.
I don't remember anything else. I'm told the man fished me out and then there was a great kerfuffle as I was hung upside-down and coughed a bit. My cousins got a massive earful from my mother, who was furious with the eldest in particular for losing track of me. My father taught me to swim.
The man was thanked profusely, but we don't know his name. I hope he had a wonderful life and I'm grateful for mine.
Comment by sim04ful 1 day ago
Although this was in Nigeria, we have this certain camaraderie through hardship, it was still extremely surprising seeing a group of 6 men come out of nowhere, having nothing to do with each other aside being passerbys join hands, exerting sweaty effort to get my car out a ditch by 8pm.
Left me quite an impression
Comment by mikestew 1 day ago
I’ve dropped mine on rare occasions, and nary a soul even looked my direction. :-) (But thankfully I’m a grown boy who can pick it up myself.)
Comment by bombcar 1 day ago
Literally, the moment before there hadn’t been anything around but me and that Taco Bell.
Comment by layla5alive 1 day ago
We grew up very poor, and I can't count the number of times someone helped us through a difficult situation - there are plenty of times we were on our own and there wasn't any help, but also times when someone noticed and helped. The help was always so appreciated- it lessened the suffering considerably compared to the times when we were on our own with whatever problem.
Comment by JKCalhoun 1 day ago
When I was 20 or so I worked at a pizza place (Godfather's Pizza in Kansas City, FWIW). I suppose because I had a high school diploma, the manager had taken a liking to me and made me "shift supervisor" — which is kind off like assistant to the manager. Anyway, I was often left in charge to close the store with a few of the high school hires.
I often noticed a family come in on Tuesdays or whatever when there was some kind of promotion like get a large for the price of a medium or whatever. They often had some coupon you cut out of a newspaper so they could save another $2 or whatever. They were quiet and I decided they were not very well off.
I had a flashback to my own childhood: where going out for pizza with my sister and (single, working) mom was a real treat for us (and with the coupons, or free drinks).
When they order I make an extra large rather than a large. Unfortunately, this night, I think the pizza was left a touch long in the oven and it comes out with the cheese a little browner than I would have preferred. I was a bit embarrassed handing it to them and then even more embarrassed when they didn't even bat an eye but quietly accepted the pizza.
I decided nonetheless to make them another pizza and when it was done I brought it out to them in a to-go box—apologizing for the first pizza.
I can't know how it made them feel, but I was happy to be in a position to do that. (To hell with corporate profits, ha ha.)
Comment by manuel_w 2 days ago
An elderly lady we met at the parking lot offered us, three random strangers in their 30s stay at her place for the night. Her nephew even drove to the camping area where we headed off and probably lost the key. It was heart-warming.
After returning home we sent her a huge Christmas packet with typical specialties from Austria. (Pumpkin seed oil and others. :-) )
I'll write her a letter this Christmas.
Comment by em-bee 1 day ago
Comment by TheAceOfHearts 1 day ago
Comment by anonymousiam 1 day ago
At 15 years old, I stupidly rode my bike across the street in front of my high school on a red light. It looked safe, but a car was speeding in the opposite lane, and I had to turn back to avoid being killed. So now I was in the lane I had just crossed and another speeding car hit me, throwing me (and my bike) about 40'. I was dead on the street, and a stranger stopped to give me CPR. After a month in the hospital with a broken back, and the doctors scratching their heads because I wasn't a paraplegic, I was eventually okay.
I never got to thank him. All I ever learned about him is that his name is Mark.
Comment by JKCalhoun 1 day ago
So I looked around the parking lot in desperation and I saw someone leaving their car and head in to work. I had no idea who it was but I shouted "help!" to them.
The guy jogs over to me, looks at the situation and just cooly but quickly asks, "Tell me what you need me to do." (What an engineer, huh? I'm sure this guy was an engineer.)
I explain I need this collar pulled back against the tension of the spring and between the two of us (my one good hand) we just barely get it lifted to where I was able to tear free (yeah, the skin tore) my finger.
Wow.
Crisis averted. I profusely thanked the guy and then he just went on in to work.
Thank you stranger! It was made especially clear to me after the two of us struggled that I had not a prayer on my own.
Comment by The_Fox 1 day ago
I'm really not sure what I would have done with the trailer if he hadn't offered to help. We were more than 600 km from home.
Comment by belZaah 1 day ago
Comment by ok123456 1 day ago
I was very nervous when a random guy stopped. My initial thought was, "Am I about to be robbed?" But it turned out that he was just a local aerospace engineer, and it was his hobby to help stranded motorists.
Comment by hermitcrab 1 day ago
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Comment by hexbin010 1 day ago
I've read various accounts of people trying to reclaim lost baggage and it's a Kafkaesque process designed to be totally useless
But the railway operators are 50% nationalised now. Northern, TransPennine, South West Railway, LNER, Greater Anglia, c2c, ScotRail, Southeastern, TfW are all government owned.
And the forerunner in increasing fares the last couple of years has been...the government. They renationalised various operators during and after COVID and are now busy decreasing rail subsidies and increasing fares.
(yes even with the freezing of some fares in April. It's only some fares. And prices had been going up multiple times a year in many places for a few years. There is a wider picture and other schemes happening pushing up prices)
Maybe Great British Rail will slowly and surely return us to a less mean system. Time will tell
Comment by tubs 1 day ago
Comment by hexbin010 1 day ago
I guess you being somewhat fine with waiting a week meant nothing important was in the bag.
The trouble with the UK is we continue to put up with the bar getting lower and lower each year. Honestly someone would defend it taking a month to get a bag back as being fine
Comment by hermitcrab 1 day ago
Comment by _puk 1 day ago
You realise even the subsidies go to pay Canadian pension funds [0]
Comment by hermitcrab 1 day ago
Comment by _puk 1 day ago
No mercy. Fuck those guys.
Same guy that stung me for not having a ticket when every other day they'd come round and let me buy a ticket on the train.. I even went to the window at the destination for a ticket, and then got referred for a penalty fare. Fuck that guy.
Comment by hexbin010 1 day ago
Many people find out the hard way just how many legal powers the railway has (they have even more they could enforce, such as dropping litter, or playing music, or being inebriated - criminal offencs with no excuse)
The social contract of buying a ticket and behaving in return for good customer service has broken down, it's gone. It's really the entire of the UK at this point.
Comment by carefish 1 day ago
My team and me had just won 2nd place with a prestigious competition and decided to spend a chunk of the prize money right then and there: Wanted to get myself a nice backpack (Victorinox) but as I was a student at the time and the prize money would come much later, I came a significant amount of money short... This person just handed me, in cash, a hundred dollars. The backpack is now over 10 years old, and I still use that backpack daily with lots of pleasure, and only has minor scuff/wear and tear marks. It's been a fond memory to revisit, also because the memory is attached to my first time visiting Seattle (and Microsoft HQ). If the person that handed me that cash all those years ago reads this: Thank you so much, I would love to share what I've been up to.
Comment by socalgal2 1 day ago
I feel like many places have forgotten that. Maybe law enforcement got too expensive or there were too many corrupt police but so much now is no longer enforced and so the selfish "it's okay if I can get away with it" types are winning.
Comment by lkbm 1 day ago
When I was in Cape May, I walked to the beach, and realized I'd forgotten my access pass. The person at the entrance let me borrow her bike to ride back to the house to grab my pass and bike back. You do that when you trust the people around you to behave honestly. Any time you do something to reduce that trust of strangers (it doesn't have to be crime), we erode the high-trust environment and make everyone a little worse off.
Thanks to all the kind strangers discussed in these comments for having and building social trust through your actions. Collectively, we build a safe, happy society through small kindnesses.
Comment by karolist 1 day ago
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Comment by neilv 1 day ago
One that comes to mind was when I was on my own as a teen, and fortunately had a community college co-op student internship. My coworkers looked out for me in various ways, both professionally and personally, as if it was just ordinary for them.
I also found some similar above-and-beyond goodness by people at Brown University.
So that's what I knew in adulthood, until later disillusionment.
I still try to promote the way that I know exists, and I recognize a lot of other people who live that, or are ready to switch to it.
Comment by dundarious 1 day ago
Comment by theragra 3 days ago
I was couchsurfing with a bicycle, and was not able to find a place to stay on the last day. So, instead of trying I asked a guy where I stayed the first day if I can return. Not only he agreed, but also helped to get to the airport with my packaged bike.
Another case was when I stayed in Jordan, and the guy who I rented apt from helped us so much for free. He helped us to get to the dead sea (with two bikes, no less!), fought for the price with street traders so we could get an honest price and so on.
And the final and best story is about a people who found us trying to put up a tent during the huge storm in iceland.
They invited us to spend a night in their camping cabin and shared their dinner with us. This happened after we were going 12 hours through the storm with a heavily packed bikes. IT felt like an angels touch. I almost cried due to happiness (I hardly ever cried back then).
Comment by yesthisiswes 1 day ago
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Comment by kjohanson 20 hours ago
A lot of people have done a lot of nice things for me, that one kind of stands out since he didnt seem like he had much.
I have a lot of such stories while riding dirt bikes. Kind of need to depend on the help of others if you get wedged or injured.
I will also never forget the CEO who gave me 3 paid months time off when I was hospitalized / sick. I think it was a risk for him since it was unclear I would be able to work again, but fortunately I made it back.
Comment by sejje 20 hours ago
I've heard that said by many, but it's been my experience as well.
Comment by gameshot911 1 day ago
A nice black man (this was important because I grew up in a white neighborhood and hadn't encountered many black people before) knelt down to me and asked me if I was okay, if I was lost. They brought me to the zoo office where they called my parents.
I'll never forget how strange and different they were to the child me, and yet how kind they were in the sea of scary strangers.
Comment by tibra 1 day ago
Comment by qmmmur 1 day ago
A Turkish lady got out of her car, went to the boot and got three heavy duty plastic bags out. She helped pick up the groceries, pack it into the bags, all the while ignoring traffic and halting cars. I said my most profuse thank you in German and all she said was: no problem. I still remember it often.
Comment by cmckn 1 day ago
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Comment by exabrial 12 hours ago
Out in western Kansas, riding my motorcycle to go see my dad who was working in the field. Didn’t know the gas light on my bike was busted. Engine stalled in the middle of nowhere on an early May morning. I hiked for a bit and knocked on a farmhouse door. The guy and his wife offered me a coffee, breakfast, and a gallon out two of gas (85 miles of range on a bike). Can’t thank them enough.
I’ve tried to return the favor 10x fold to strangers.
Comment by uberman 1 day ago
We stopped at a bus stop to regroup and there were two local men, construction workers as I recall, sitting at the stop. They got us back on track but more than that, they cracked open a 6 pack of beer and shared it with us. I dont know what those beers could have cost but it was not cheap. They were regular guys and we were lost rich tourists. In no world I would have imagined would they have shared those beers with us but there they were and they ensured we got to the hotel as well.
I will always remember that kindness.
Comment by uberman 1 day ago
I would have loved to retire to Tahiti based on how wonderful the people there were to us but I gather lots of people have the same kind of experience with the hospitality and now it is too expensive to retire there :p
Comment by parpfish 1 day ago
I should probably talk to somebody about that…
Comment by sejje 8 hours ago
I hadn't been offered a gift yet at work, and it felt wrong for some reason--I was young and naive. He insisted many times, and I refused.
When it was over, he seemed hurt, and he treated me in a less friendly way afterwards.
So that was how I learned the lesson. When someone wants to give you a gift, you accept it graciously. It's your duty.
My problem is, I feel bad if I don't put the gift to good use.
Comment by charlangas 1 day ago
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Comment by mikestew 1 day ago
Couldn’t hurt, because you’re robbing others of the opportunity to help. And, frankly, you’re not alone, I constantly run into folks that feel the need to reciprocate or otherwise make it transactional.
Comment by stavros 1 day ago
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Comment by agumonkey 1 day ago
i got carried away reading, evening came .. i decided to leave, but that park was already closed and unlike most parks where i usually go, this one has absolutely no way out, they lock everything..
he noticed me, told me there's on spot where the fence is missing a bar, enough for a person to escape.. but not for my bike which means i'd have to leave it chained to a tree during the night.. not thrilled by that idea
that kid sat on the fence and help me lift the bike, grabbing the dirty wheel and everything. the bike was out, and i used the thin hole to get out.
felt crazy to me that this kid went that far to help a stranger
i went back there a few times with some money but didn't ran into him, until a month later our paths cross so i could thank him
Comment by standardly 2 days ago
Comment by commandersaki 1 day ago
This has been burned in my memory going on for more than 25 years. I have gone over and beyond for both people and strangers, but I have yet to be in a similar situation to pay it forward.
Comment by gadders 1 day ago
I had a door to door selling summer job in America at 21 after leaving university (I'm a brit) .
The job was primarily on the Eastern Shore in Delaware. Everywhere I went a kept hearing about the famous crabs they cook. One chap whose door I knocked on asked if I'd had any yet. I told him I hadn't.
He sat me down there and then with his whole family to eat some at a meal with them.
I wish I could find them again and thank them properly.
Comment by thret 1 day ago
Comment by lb1lf 18 hours ago
I'd been (reluctantly) going to Mozambique for a service job on a vessel, reluctantly as my grandmother was rather worse for wear and I feared she was nearing the end. She urged me to go, though, and to tell her all about it when I got back.
She died while I was in Maputo harbour, waiting for the vessel to dock so I could get to the airport and back home.
Can't remember much of the flight from Maputo to Jo'burg, but from South Africa to Frankfurt was terrific, considering the circumstances.
A stewardess quietly pulls me aside as I am about to board the flight to Europe and asks me something like 'Gee, you look terrible, what happened?'
I just shrug and tell her my grandmother died a few hours ago, we were really close, and I felt terrible for not being with her &c.
Next thing I know, she's hugged me for a long time - to the annoyance of people queuing behind me - before dumping me in a vacant seat in business, tells me she'll be back the moment we're airborne.
Sits down in the adjacent seat, starts asking me about good memories about my grandmother, talks to me throughout more or less the entire flight, ensuring me that her job is to make me as comfortable as she can given the circumstances.
Once we landed in Frankfurt, she asked if I was OK going on alone - she'd be happy to accompany me all the way back home if I needed her, Lufthansa would make that work, no worries.
We still exchange Christmas letters every year; I mailed this year's on Friday.
Comment by cal_dent 16 hours ago
Comment by k310 2 days ago
On the other side of the coin, I was leaving a thrift store in San Leandro and saw some black thing on the road. I was stopped at an intersection and picked it up. It was a wallet with $500 in it and a woman's out of state personal and business ID., but no local address or phone number. I took a real chance and left it with the thrift store staff, hoping they could find her. Perhaps she was just there? Well, they said later that they found her through her bank, and returned it to her. I forgot if it was before or after, but I did purchase two Klipsch Heresy Speakers there for $50 total.
Comment by Grazester 1 day ago
I went over a platform and into a small garage pit used for burning trash. After I stopped rolling, I dusted myself off and thought, "well, that could have been worse". Then came a man running towards me, grabs my elbow and pulls the head of a broken bottle out of it. Blood started spraying everywhere of course.
After one of my friends that was riding with me used his shirt as a tourniquet, the man flagged down a (private) mini bus(that provides public transportation), to me to the hospital, stayed with me then, paid my bus fare and then took me back home to my neighbourhood.
I never saw the man again even though he probably lived in the neighbourhood next to mine.
Recently in NYC, I was offloading my car when a girl with a box of croissants and cookies came up to me as asked if I wanted a croissant. She that she mistakenly bought more than she could eat. I looked at her as if she fell from space for a second and she noticed. She then said she bought the from a nearby bakery and they were perfectly fine as she continued eating one herself. I hesitantly took one, which was still warm and bite into it. It was great and I told her girl so and thanked her.
I went inside with my croissant in hand and told my wife what had happened. I got the scolding of my life for eating food from a stranger. I had to throw the rest of the crossiant away of course. That sucked because that one bite was so good.
Comment by fainpul 1 day ago
I learned in first aid courses that if something is stuck deeply in a wound, you should not pull it out, but instead fixate it with some bandage and go to the hospital like that. The reason is that it can start bleeding a lot more if the object is removed.
Comment by skylurk 1 day ago
I think this rule expires when you become an adult and can judge the situation...
Comment by tetris11 3 days ago
A woman passing by saw the whole thing, and said she lived nearby and would happily run me a bath.
I took her up on the offer, and, um, I was a few hours late to work that day :-)
Comment by melvinroest 1 day ago
I was in Thailand on a bus, with only Thai people, it was a really local bus. The bus would stop around every 30 miles/50 kilometers. I didn't know that. I needed to get off at a particular stop as it was close to the meditation retreat I was going to (Phitsanulok). I miss the stop. I figure it'd be fine. I didn't realize the 30 miles thing. So after half an hour of driving I ask the bus driver when it's going to stop. He said he'll stop in another 15 minutes.
It was about to get dark. I asked him if he could please stop now. I was 25 miles away, it'd be rough but 8 hours of walking is doable. He stopped, now I was on the side of the road. It had gotten dark.
I noticed houses next to the side of the highway. It was a strange sight to walk next to a highway and see houses next to it. In one case, I saw a father, mother and 2 children outside ready to go inside.
I asked them for help. They didn't speak English but listened. With our hands and feet and a bit of Google Translate, I got to tell them my story. The father looks at me with understanding eyes and gestures for me to get on the back of the moped. I get on the back. He brings me to a police station. He says they'd take me to Phitsanulok.
In the police station, no one was there. There was one light on and blinking. The room itself looked grey-ish white. I felt like I was in the beginning scene of a horror film. Before the father left, I asked him why there was no one here. He told me that the policemen were having dinner and they'd probably be done in an hour. I sat there for an hour.
The policemen came out, they looked at me surprised. They spoke English, I told them my situation. They said "alright, get back in the car". And they just gave me a whole ride of 25 miles to where I exactly needed to be.
To say that I was grateful would be an understatement. I offered them money, because while I know that they are just working, I reckon that this type of stuff is not in the job description of a policeman. I was purely offering it out of gratitude. They said no. I offered 2 more times, they still said no. I did my best to show I was incredibly grateful and I think they got the message, haha.
Thanks to those Thai policemen, and other acts of kindness I've experienced over the course of my life, I will pay it forward. Not because I feel I have to, mostly because I see how wonderful that attitude actually is.
Comment by alex1138 1 day ago
Comment by sandruso 1 day ago
I was so angry at first when I found out that this was my last train and I missed it but it turned out to be great story I can tell :)
Thank you strangers, I'll repay it back to somebody in the future
Comment by sbassi 1 day ago
Comment by sejje 7 hours ago
I didn't learn much from him, but that was a good one.
Comment by kyleblarson 1 day ago
Comment by WalterBright 1 day ago
Two very beautiful young ladies came up to me, and said you look like you need a hug. Instantly my spidey sense went on red alert, as I figured these two were pickpockets or scammers or ladies of the evening, since I was much too old to be of interest to them, and no woman has ever remarked that I was handsome. I asked them what they were doing, and they said they were just doing a project spreading kindness.
So I said ok and one of them gave me a truly wonderful hug, and I said thank you and they went on their way.
All I can say is "wow".
Comment by socalgal2 1 day ago
Comment by VonTum 1 day ago
Turns out, wrong train, going slightly the wrong way. But a guy walks up to me in the train, asks me where I'm going, and starts to help me get to where I need to go. He arranged a bunk for me, talked to the conductor for me, bought(!) another train to Agra for me, called hostels in Agra, etc etc. I've had multiple such encounters here in India, of people going so far out of their way to help me here, something you would honestly never see in my country Germany. It's like a strange incongruence, with one fraction of the population hell-bent on fleecing you for all you've got, and another that will go way further out of their way for you than you could ever imagine.
Comment by threethirtytwo 1 day ago
In touristy places you are just a target. It’s just different places have different strategies for fleecing you. For example in Japan you probably wouldn’t even know you got ripped off but India they are likely so obvious about it you never get fleeced.
Comment by akshitgaur2005 1 day ago
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Comment by unsungNovelty 13 hours ago
Comment by user_7832 1 day ago
Ps, Kochi can be quite bustling. The more remote and rural towns (like Munnar) are a relatively safer bet.
Comment by proee 1 day ago
Comment by cmckn 1 day ago
Whoever it was paid for my order. Kind of a record-scratch moment, just completely changed my mood and was a good reminder to not be negative for no reason.
Comment by mikestew 1 day ago
On Seattle’s Eastside? Someone whose Land Rover is in the shop.
Jokes aside, what are they supposed to do? Keep a Camry in the garage for those Starbucks trips? :-)
Comment by medymed 23 hours ago
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Comment by CrzyLngPwd 1 day ago
I was blown away and so grateful.
I have paid it forward many times over.
Comment by gradascent 1 day ago
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Comment by halapro 1 day ago
Another passenger saw me crying on the phone with my father when I had to ask him to help me buy a new ticket back home. He (and another elderly passenger) cheered me up and offered me to stay with him until the next flight out the next afternoon.
Took me (male, 21) to his room, took care of me until my flight and told me to pay it forward.
It was one of my first intentional trips and it had all gone to shit even before this event. I flew back home with like 30 euros on my account.
Comment by marking-time 1 day ago
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Comment by afandian 1 day ago
Less exotic than some stories here but I remember it 20 years later.
Comment by 999900000999 1 day ago
Within 3 years I went from a college dropout with nothing going on to making 6 figures.
That was a long time ago and I've been comfortable ever since.
2 evictions before I turned 19 and I haven't been evicted since.
Life is good.
Comment by abetusk 1 day ago
She just handed me an umbrella and drove off after I said thank you.
Comment by amarant 1 day ago
Turns out he had his own show on the radio, and he played my song! Well, Nirvana's song, but the one I picked. He even dedicated it to me and everything! I thought I was bonafide rockstar for years after that!
I guess I should qualify the story by saying, he was a stranger at the time, but not for long. His son was 2 years younger than me and we became best friends, and he was like a second dad for me too. But that came later.
Bobo is not with us anymore, but here's to his memory.
Comment by criddell 1 day ago
Comment by mediascreen 1 day ago
I'm sure there must be more instances, but that's the first one I can think of.
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Comment by grvbck 1 day ago
Although, I am often surprised by how kind/helpful/generally nice people are when I travel. Even in places like Paris or Glasgow, that have a reputation of being a bit rude or at least reserved toward outsiders.
Comment by nephihaha 2 days ago
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Comment by abraxas 1 day ago
I'm ugly so strangers aren't nice to me.
Comment by apparent 1 day ago
On the other hand, if you asked a bunch of great-looking people what strangers had done for them, you'd get a bunch of stories about people who were very kind (but perhaps not entirely altruistic in their intent).
Comment by hermitcrab 1 day ago
Ouch.
Comment by apparent 1 day ago
For one thing, women (especially smaller women) would be wary of offering a ride to a man or letting him into her home.
Comment by fainpul 7 hours ago
Maybe you are not very adventurous? If your life consists of only hotel trips, best you can expect is a free breakfast upgrade or something like that.
If you're hungry and out of energy on a hike, someone might give you a sandwich. If you're drowning, someone might save your live. The situations you're in determine your experiences, not your looks.
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Comment by bane 1 day ago
As my mother and I sat in the reception area fighting with the hospice administrator, a medical transport pulled up and unloaded another patient. After putting the new patient back in their room the driver walked up to us as we were sliding into a heated argument with the hospice administrator.
She asked the administrator what the problem was and was told that policy was visitors can't be going into the patient area and it was very firm. They'd had issues with the local government about being slack about it. The driver turned to me and said something along the lines of "here's what we're going to do:
Since I can apparently run around freely in this place, I'm going to find your father and put a star in his window so you can always find where he is.
Number two, I'm going to give you a set of full hazard gear.
Number three" and she turned to the administrator put her finger up into her face and very sternly said, "they are going to hire you as a part time employee, in maintenance, or IT support or whatever, and your hours of employment here are going to be whenever you need to visit your father."
she turned back to me, "but this doesn't mean it's a free pass, you are going to wear all of this hazard gear whenever you come 'work' here, promise me that okay?"
She then took the administrator off to a side room, had a conversation, and I had a piece of paper to sign about 30 minutes later making me an employee of the hospice.
I made it into and out of the hospice without incident for the next week until we decided to bring my father home to die as he wasn't receiving almost any care there. I don't know what the ambulance driver and the administrator discussed, but I suspect it was the absolutely woeful state of the facility.
The look on my father's face when a head-to-toe masked man entered his room the first time, and when I took my mask off to show him I was there for him, and how the terror just simply fell from his face, is something I will always remember as is the kindness of the driver who put herself out there for us.
The period was incredibly hard, beyond the situation with my father, the medical system was in absolute shambles, and as my father's health was rapidly deteriorating, it was among the only kindness we received during that wretched journey.
Comment by sejje 7 hours ago
There's some real ones out there. It's so inhuman to let bureaucracy stand in the way of decency.
Thanks for your story.
Comment by doganugurlu 1 day ago
This is a very heart-warming story though. Thanks for sharing.
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Comment by froh 1 day ago
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I had some young family drama which kept me from studying for my first oral university exam. so I talked with the prof about it. he told me to bring a sick leave attestation from Dr such and such - or to come and give it shot. gave it a shot. "you can do much better that's obvious. I'll give you the weakest passing grade or I fail you and you redo the exam. your choice." wow.
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Comment by monster_truck 1 day ago
When he heard that I had just moved cross country for work, he insisted on giving me one of his originals and some signed prints he just had made, as a housewarming gift. I joked about how badass it was that he had signed prints, he shrugged and played it off like they were only using school supplies to make a little fun money. It was just an A4 sized watercolor, it hung on my fridge for years with the prints
A decade later I had a friend over and they were asking about them, I couldn't remember anything so they reverse image searched on their phone. His exhibition was at fucking MoMA. His career took off after that and it is worth a decent chunk of change. I went and got it properly framed the very next day
Comment by joecool1029 1 day ago
I begged the guy that helped me fill out the paperwork for that program to give me something proving the hospital was paid. He broke the law and gave me the whole month's reimbursed list of everyone in that program. Hospital made the situation go away in less than a day once they saw I had it.
I will never forget his name since he put his ass on the line doing that and I never met him in person, just a few phone calls.
Comment by k310 3 days ago
OTOH, I seem to be "that stranger" whenever possible. And that's mighty satisfying. People I've studied under or assisted with computer support have a habit of getting Nobel Physics Prizes. I have aggressively looked for and found, owners of lost cell phones and ipods.
Sorry to disappoint!
BTW, a friend is an M.D. While I was visiting his home, his cat scratched me, and I asked if he had any betadine. He didn't. So, you never know. Having been in the Coast Guard "Semper Paratus" always ready, I tend to bring small tools and first aid with me when I drive, but the only application so far was someone whose battery died in the SFO cell phone lot around midnight, and I had the jumper cable handy. The more serious one was when I was coming home and saw a light flickering in the neighbor's detached garage. Well, he wasn't welding. It was an electrical fire, and I made sure they knew about it post haste (they were watching TV in the front room). And that's about it.
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Comment by bobosola 1 day ago
I should add that this was back in the days of dumb phones, long before GPS devices were common in cars, so all I had was a small-scale paper route map of France. I had no clue which way to go to find help, and no way to find a phone number. It was late afternoon, and we were still a long way from the campsite. I was starting to sweat.
But then a French woman with her daughter pulled over in a small car and asked if we needed any help. Using a mixture of my poor French and sign language, I indicated I needed a wheel wrench, which she pulled out of her boot. My joy and relief were obvious. I change the van wheel in no time, thanked her profusely, and off she went.
But there was twist in the tale: my hazard lights had been flashing so long that when I tried to start up the car, all I got was that sickening tick-tick-tick sound of a dead battery. Could my day get any worse? But then I remembered that my van had its own battery! A quick battery swap-over later, and we were back on the road, and had a great holiday, all thanks to the kindness of a big-hearted French woman who was kind enough to stop and offer help to foreign strangers stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Comment by mykowebhn 1 day ago
All of a sudden, some guy who looked to be in his 20s comes in clearly not from the area. He was dressed like a backpacker and he seemed lost. He was studying the coffee menu and saying hi to those around him. His friendliness and being-in-the-moment-ness really touched me, helped to pull me out of myself. When I went to pay for my coffee, I told the cashier that I was going to pay for his coffee as well. While I was still waiting for my coffee, he went to pay and learned that I had already paid for his coffee. I was embarrassed, but I will never forget the look of appreciation on his face.
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Comment by lz400 1 day ago
When he was about to fall to his death a father and son that happened to be there in a struck of luck managed to grab him and save his life. My friend had banged a few rocks in the way down so his leg was fractured and they had to help him down for hours.
They saved his life and risk theirs to ensure he had the best chance. They visited my friend in the hospital where he was grateful and teary eyed. And then the father and son asked him for money, straight up. My friend of course agreed on an amount to them, all in all, he didn't know how to repay them anyway and this was oddly simple. I found everything heroic and strange at the same time but a good story.
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Comment by arjie 1 day ago
Two of those occasions are when I crashed on my skateboard, and when I crashed my car. Both times, a young woman stopped to help me[0]. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to say when people haven't been kind to me. A girl on a train gave me the book she finished reading. A homeless guy helped me push a car[2]. I left my car open once with everything inside and a passing woman closed it for me and left a note.
But also the society built here assists competently when individuals cannot. After a motorcycle accident in the city, the ambulance was there to pick me up apparently (I wouldn't know, I have amnesia) within minutes.
We've always stopped to help when we can and have many times (a few in SF here[2]) but it is gratifying that others are also like that. The other thing I like is that people don't mind asking for help. I was at the Safeway up in Diamond Heights, all in my motorcycle gear (which some can find intimidating) and this old lady asked for help with her car boot. Why on Earth would I know? But it turned out to be a quick fix and while I sorted the latch out, this other elderly couple talked to me about the husband's Ducati which he used to have.
In fact, I have come to think about this non-kin pro-sociality as being some sort of sociocultural superpower among the societies that can practice it. It seems to me that the most successful societies practised this. Even in the age of empire, it seems some societies were more capable of pro-social outcomes. British imperialism was a brutal thing in many places and especially earlier in its time, but compared to intra-tribal violence among indigenous peoples it seems almost civilized. The bare minimum rise to civilization seems to have been to replace terminal fatal violence with non-terminal subjugation (which seems to have been a hard thing to achieve). The Maori left only a hundred or so Moriori alive, and ate and killed the rest. By comparison, the British had the Maori in parliament.
Similarly, the father of the Charlie Kirk shooter encouraged him to give himself up: placing his kin at the mercy of his non-kin society. I think this kind of non-kin pro-sociality is where the magic is in a successful society. But producing that is hard. As an example, no matter how much a young woman would want to help a man waving her down on the side of the road, she should not do so in Somalia. American society (and many others) has solved, for the most part, the problem of stranger trust. That enables this kind of cooperation, which enables large-scale coordination, which helps a society prosper.
This reminds me of what A Splendid Exchange says about the Qu'ran having rules on commerce and law: thereby allowing the Islamic world to prosper because any Muslim of the time could meet another Muslim of the time and know they lived by the same law (enforced by God, one presumes). This allowed stranger-trust across the seas.
Overall, quite fascinating. These societal innovations are devices that last for some period of time and provide a massive boost to those societies. Certainly whatever Dutch system existed to enforce joint-stock capital, a secondary market, and derivatives allowed them to coordinate to be the power they were at the time[3]. I wonder what the next such device will be.
The default of humanity seems to be to cooperate[4], so the hard part here is finding the device that fights exploitation of pro-sociality.
0: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2024-08-14/Fearless_Ame...
1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Motorcycle_Accident
2: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2025-02-20/Car_Breakdow...
3: Though the flip side is the zielverkopers - people who turned labor into a tradable commodity but using what is in practice debt bondage
4: In some sense, all living beings are formed from cooperation
Comment by lolc 13 hours ago
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Comment by jimt1234 1 day ago
BTW, here she is: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzanne-travis-rn-ocn-reiki-cert...
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Comment by badpenny 1 day ago
Do those doctors not normally take good care of patients, at least unless asked to by one of their colleagues?
Comment by amelius 1 day ago
I sometimes even get the feeling that altruism is seen as a weakness these days.
Comment by dragonwriter 1 day ago
Altruism and empathy, by name, are targets of derogation by a major political movement in the US, at least. So, yeah, absolutely.
> I sometimes even get the feeling that altruism is seen as a weakness these days.
This is fairly explicitly the case, yes.
Comment by mrweasel 1 day ago
There's also two or three generations of people now who are absolutely terrified of talking to others, so you have to exhibit so level of distress for them to act.
Generally though, I feel like people want to help strangers, and social media makes that easier to do. We have a local organisation that helps those less fortunate, and last year they wrote on Facebook a few days before Christmas that they had five familie (I think if was five), who hadn't been able to get help elsewhere and if people had food, or money they could spare. Took them just a few hours to ensure a nice Christmas for those families. Without social media, we wouldn't have known, and it basically only Facebook that can reach so many generous people in such a short time.
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Comment by rconti 1 day ago
In a big city, meh, there's always someone else who could do it.
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Comment by rkomorn 1 day ago
I can't fathom how some people ride without them.
Comment by ralferoo 17 hours ago
The most recent one was walking through an "ancient village" in China, looking around at all the cool houses and poking my head into the obviously shop ones. There was one shop (I think, I never did actually find out!) with a load of traditional instruments that you could see through the open front door and someone playing to the side of the door. I poked my head in, and they stopped playing as they were too embarrassed to play for an audience, but I had a bit of a chat with her in Chinese about the instrument - it was a guqin, and similar concept to the guzheng I'd had a couple of hours of lessons on as part of my language classes back home. (The difference is that guqin is more like a 7 string violin without frets, a guzheng is 21 strings each a different note). About a minute later, a guy popped in and explained that the woman was shy playing in front of others, and when she told him that I'd mentioned the other instrument, he sat down and said "I'll teach you to play!". Which he did for about 10 minutes and then said, "Follow me, pipe, pipe, pipe!" He then took me down a small street and into a different shop that turned out to be a school for bamboo flutes (called xiao), which are like reedless descant recorders, so you have to make the base sound with your lips. Despite knowing the fingering from learning the recorder as a kid, I only managed to produce a note about 20 or 30 times from 100+ attempts, but they were impressed anyway. He sat me down to drink tea, and brought it all the other students and teachers and just had an impromptu tea party. Despite being in a bit of a hurry by then as I needed to catch the bus back to where I was staying before they stopped running about 10pm, I ended up being there for about 3-4 hours. They were probably going to just be hanging around their studio anyway, and the cost of the tea they used was probably a dollar at most, but it was a unique experience for me to see something that probably the other thousand people who visited that day would walk past and didn't even know existed! Plus I got to practice my language skills in a completely different way than I'd done before.
One act of kindness from me in my early 20s, when I had a year travelling around Australia, was offering to buy a meal for a homeless guy begging outside McDonalds. It seemed such a simple thing, but it was clearly very transformative for him. Obviously, he would get some money each day from people throwing coins into his hat, but he said that about 90% of people walked past him and completely ignored him, and even the people that donated usually didn't even make eye contact. He told me it was the first real conversation he'd had with someone for about 5 years and for just a few dollars and 10 minutes of my time, I was able to make him feel that someone did actually see him as a real human being with his own story to tell. It definitely shaped me as a person too, because I saw how something so simple and easy for me made such a big difference to him.
Comment by frankzander 1 day ago
Comment by tetris11 3 days ago
Everyone stared deeper into their phones until he went away, but when he came back a woman with a child handed him some change and he walked on without thanking her.
The kid asked "why did you give him money mummy?" and her response was simply "you see homeless, you give money" and that was the end of it. I just liked the implicit matter-of-fact decency in which she lived her life.
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Comment by sfn42 1 day ago
Limped into a 24hr kiosk and asked to borrow their phone to call for a ride. Got a no. Tried explaining the situation, no sympathy.
A guy who happened to be in there saw that I was really not having a great time, came over and just hugged me and said it was gonna be alright and let me use his phone. No idea who you are, wouldn't recognize you if I ever met you again, but thanks for that.
Comment by 93po 1 day ago
Comment by dogemaster2032 23 hours ago
I did the tallying for you. When specifically two countries were mentioned and it wasn’t clear which country the good deed happened in, I awarded 0.5 points to each of those countries.
The top country that is specifically mentioned is the USA. Of countries that are specified as non USA, they accumulated 34.5 points. The USA accumulated 37.5.
The tallying was done at 4:03 PM UTC on December 14, 2025
Here is the {position, score, country} list
#0. 42 Country not mentioned
#1. 37.5 USA
#2. 6.5 UK
#3. 5 Japan
#4. 4 Australia
#5. 2.5 Germany
#6. 2 Canada
#6. 2 India
#7. 1 Argentina
#7. 1 Bethlehem (Roman Empire, ~4 BCE)
#7. 1 Costa Rica
#7. 1 Iceland
#7. 1 Jordan
#7. 1 Nigeria
#7. 1 Norway
#7. 1 Philippines
#7. 1 Poland
#7. 1 Spain
#7. 1 Tahiti
#7. 1 Taiwan
#8. 0.5 France
Comment by dark-star 1 day ago
I was in a car accident once, many years ago... nothing terrible but I was in shock (it was my first car accident) and in mild pain (bruises from the airbag and a headacke mostly). The other party came over and asked me if I had a phone. I was still in my car, trying to realize what happened. When I said that yes, I have a phone he said "then better call the police. the accident was your fault" (which for all I know was probably true), then he left to sit on the roadside and smoke a cigarette and scroll on his smartphone until the police and ambulance arrived, 15 minutes later. Because of him, they came with 4 or 5 extra vehicles, simply because I couldn't really answer their questions well ("how many people are in the other car? is anyone injuered besides you? are the cars still driveable or do they need to be towed?" all quesions I couldn't answer)
I overheard that he got a lecture from one of the cops later on, but still it was an experience that I don't want to make again anytime soon
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Comment by hereme888 21 hours ago
What about it is not the time or place for "this"?
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